My Birth - You can't know where you're going, unless you know where you have been.



Mom, Dad, me, and Chelsea 

I am the baby of the family. I have one older brother who is 5 years my senior. We probably would have been closer in age, but my parents had a difficult time getting pregnant. They tried for a few years and were even in the process of beginning some fertility work when they found out they were pregnant with me! Considering the trouble they had conceiving, the doctor considered the pregnancy high risk and would not let them tell anyone until she was 12 weeks. They did not know whether I was a boy or a girl (by choice), but my 5-year old brother kept praying for a baby sister. I was very active in my mother’s belly when she was carrying me. As an Air Force family, my father did a lot of flying. The Air Force puts expectant fathers on “baby hold” for the last few weeks of a pregnancy, so he was not away when I was born. I was born on Langley Air Force Base, VA, and one of my first few moments of life was when my father held me up to the window and said “that’s an airplane.”

The day I was born was May 26, 1986. It was a Monday, and it was Memorial Day, so my dad was not at work. My mom had not been awake long when her water broke. They finished packing for the hospital and called the doctor. He met them at the hospital. She had a shared room with 3 other women, but my mom had the best bed, because it was by a window. She was in labor, but not dilating quickly, so they gave her Pitocin to help move things along. They did not perform an ex-ray to see how I was positioned, and if they had, they would have turned me around. I was not born breech, but I was born face-up. I guess you can say I was born ready to take on the world. This made delivery difficult for my mother. She ended up having 2 Episiotomies. I was born around 5:00 in the afternoon and when my dad told her “it’s a girl!” she said “Are you sure? Check again!” She was so excited to have a girl.

Because of the difficult delivery, my mom had to stay on an IV about 24 hours after delivery and they kept her in the hospital until Thursday (4 days, 3 nights). This was not to monitor me, but to ensure my mother’s health. She was able to order any food she wanted and said it wasn’t bad. When the time came to leave the hospital, she was ready. My brother was very excited to see and hold me when I came home. We also had a Siberian Husky, Nikki, who sniffed my head, licked me, and accepted me into his pack.

I know my birth was nothing glamorous, but I like to think that May 26, 1986 was extraordinary.

Birth is not the same everywhere in the world. In the USA, only about 1% of births are performed in the home, whereas, that is the majority for the rest of the world. My brother and his wife live in the USA, but have chosen to adopt from Korea. Their Little Blessing is named Micah and he is 2 ½ years old. He is close to my heart, and this is why I chose to explore birthing experiences in Korea.



Micah Douglas Mead

 From what I read, giving birth in Korea seems similar to American birthing traditions. Less than 1% of babies there are delivered at home. Delivery rooms are less private and are usually shared. Staying at the hospital after the birth for more than 2-3 days is common. Seaweed soup is the centerpiece of every hospital meal because it is believed to renew the blood, the skin and stimulate breast milk production. Everything is low-sodium, non-spicy and low in fat. Food is delivered five times a day to get you in the habit of eating that way as a nursing mother. New Korean mothers are also encouraged to hire an ajuma (I think this is like an extended-stay mid-wife) to help care for the baby in their home in the beginning. Unfortunately, babies that are not viewed as “perfect” are usually sent to orphanages. This is where my nephew came from. He has digestive problems in his lower intestines that deemed him “undesirable” in the Korean culture. After multiple surgeries, he will only be slightly delayed with potty training, but other than that, he is a perfectly normal and super smart little boy.

My brother's babies...Sasha and Micah