Childhood Stressors

As I look back over my childhood, I realize how blessed I was.  My childhood was relatively stress-free.  I did not have to deal with violence, hunger, isolation, natural disaster, racism, or poverty.  I believe, to some extent, that every family deals with environmental pollution, disease, some level of chaos, and noise.  These were not highly prevalent in my childhood.  If I had to choose from our “list” of stressors, the closest to home for me would be war, but in a very muted sense.  My father was a pilot in the U.S. Air Force, which meant that when I was young, he was not home a lot.  He was off flying around the world, which left my mom to care for my brother and I alone much of the time.  When he was home, he invested in us with every ounce of himself.  He was always at important events in our lives, teaching us how to throw a ball or ride a bike, and leading a Godly example for us by taking us to church.  I do remember one time, when I was about 3, he had to go off on a mission related to Dessert Storm.  This is the only time I remember being worried about him coming home.  Of course, he was not on the front lines, but as a very young child, I did not understand this.  Another moment from my childhood when I was scared and he was not there was when I was probably about 6.  He was gone on a mission and a storm came.  It was a big storm that woke us up in the middle of the night.  After my mom checked the weather, we heard a tornado siren and had to take cover.  We pulled my brother’s mattress off of his bed, stood it up over us in a hallway, and hunkered down to ride out the storm.  One thing I remember most about that night was our Siberian Husky, Nikki.  He stood and paced back and forth for a long time, and all of a sudden, it got quiet and he laid down.  He knew it was safe and we all relaxed.  Once my mom checked the weather again, we all went back to bed. 

If you have been following my blog, I often relate experiences in my life, or in the lives of other American children, to Korea, because of my nephew.   This week, I read an article by a woman named Hollee McGinnis who was born in South Korea and was adopted by an American family at the age of 3.  She visited her homeland for the first time at age 24, but did not see the orphanages or poverty that were the origins of her infancy.  When she returned four years later with a group of adopted adults for a motherland visit, she came face-to-face with the orphans. 

Children at Cheonju orphanage in 2000 waiting to greet the author and other visitors at the door.
(Photograph by Hollee McGinnis)

At the Cheonju orphanage, Hollee saw the faces of children that were skittish and shied away from touch.  Her only thought was “I got out.”  It was after she researched their behavior that she realized they were behaving that way because of improper bonding experiences as infants.  It was sad yet wonderful to read her article.  Sad because of the lack of love the orphans in South Korea experience.  Wonderful because she was able to “get out,” and so was my nephew.  I was with my nephew eating lunch one day, when a man came up to me and told me that he (Micah) was the luckiest little boy on earth.  I smiled and it made me grateful for people that understand adopting overseas. 

Reference:
McGinnis, H. (2007, November 27).  South Korea and Its Children.  The New York Times.  Retrieved March 25, 2012 from relativechoices.blogs.nytimes.com

Breast is Best

We have all heard that breast is best when it comes to the nutrition of an infant.  We may trust and believe this knowledge, but why?  Why is breastfeeding the best form of nutrients for an infant?  If breast is best, why are there so many formulas that are “as good as breastmilk”?  What can we do to support this network of mothers and be advocates for breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding is a topic near to my heart because I am around it every day.  Being an infant teacher, I am not only witnessing the relationship between a nursing mom and her baby, but I am also handling the precious milk and feeding it to the children several times a day.  These are the faces of some of the breastfed babies in my classroom.

Kellan - 6 Weeks

Kellan - 3 Months

Kellan - 5 Months

Kellan Today - 7 Months

Ellis - 8 Weeks

Ellis - 6 Months

Ellis - 9 Months

Ellis Today - 11 Months

Breastfeeding was the norm pre-WWII.  It was at this place in our country’s life when the men were away at war and the women had to get jobs outside of the home to support the homefront.  This is when formula made it greatest strides.  It was a way for working mothers to feed their babies without being near to breastfeed.  Since then, formulas have been engineered to be much more  similar to breastmilk.  Alas, nothing is as good for a baby as mother’s milk.  Breastmilk provides many benefits for baby that formula cannot - such as micronutrients not found in formula, better vision, protection against more childhood diseases, and reduced chances of obesity later in life.  These benefits alone justify why breast is best. 

 People often talk about why breastfeeding is beneficial for babies, but less often discuss why breastfeeding is beneficial for mothers and families.  A nursing mother has an easier time bonding with her baby, reduced risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis, satisfaction of meeting her infant’s needs, and natural contraception with exclusive breastfeeding for several months.  It is also beneficial for the rest of the family because it does not have the financial burden that formula can have, it allows for easier travel, and it is less stressful on a father, especially at night because he cannot be expected to feed the baby. 

 Breastfeeding is a cultural aspect that differs around the world.  After some research, I noticed that the more Westernized a country is, the lower the percentage of infants who are breastfed.  Countries that are less Westernized are more open and accepting to this natural means of providing nourishment to infants. 

 Keeping the consistency of my former entries, I chose to research breastfeeding in Korea.  It seems that breastfeeding is viewed theoretically as better for the baby, but unfortunately, Korean society does not provide much support for breastfeeding.  Babies born in hospitals are often given formula immediately.  Also, breastfeeding in public (discretely) is viewed as indecent and dirty.  If breastfeeding is viewed as  better for the baby, why is it not supported by society?  Reasons for formula use are similar to that of American women – insufficient supply of breastmilk and mother’s employment (which are actually directly linked to each other).

 Learning how unsupported mothers in other countries are when it comes to breastfeeding is disheartening.  It is still something that is not 100% supported by American society.  It is unlawful for an employee of a store or restaurant to ask a nursing mother to feed in a bathroom, yet how many moms end up doing just this?  This is a result of staring, dirty looks from onlookers, and people talking poorly of breastfeeding.  I personally consider breastfeeding to be one of my personal soapboxes and view myself as an advocate.  Given a situation, I will preach, teach, and inform anyone willing to listen, striving for support from all. 

 Breast IS Best!!!

My Birth - You can't know where you're going, unless you know where you have been.



Mom, Dad, me, and Chelsea 

I am the baby of the family. I have one older brother who is 5 years my senior. We probably would have been closer in age, but my parents had a difficult time getting pregnant. They tried for a few years and were even in the process of beginning some fertility work when they found out they were pregnant with me! Considering the trouble they had conceiving, the doctor considered the pregnancy high risk and would not let them tell anyone until she was 12 weeks. They did not know whether I was a boy or a girl (by choice), but my 5-year old brother kept praying for a baby sister. I was very active in my mother’s belly when she was carrying me. As an Air Force family, my father did a lot of flying. The Air Force puts expectant fathers on “baby hold” for the last few weeks of a pregnancy, so he was not away when I was born. I was born on Langley Air Force Base, VA, and one of my first few moments of life was when my father held me up to the window and said “that’s an airplane.”

The day I was born was May 26, 1986. It was a Monday, and it was Memorial Day, so my dad was not at work. My mom had not been awake long when her water broke. They finished packing for the hospital and called the doctor. He met them at the hospital. She had a shared room with 3 other women, but my mom had the best bed, because it was by a window. She was in labor, but not dilating quickly, so they gave her Pitocin to help move things along. They did not perform an ex-ray to see how I was positioned, and if they had, they would have turned me around. I was not born breech, but I was born face-up. I guess you can say I was born ready to take on the world. This made delivery difficult for my mother. She ended up having 2 Episiotomies. I was born around 5:00 in the afternoon and when my dad told her “it’s a girl!” she said “Are you sure? Check again!” She was so excited to have a girl.

Because of the difficult delivery, my mom had to stay on an IV about 24 hours after delivery and they kept her in the hospital until Thursday (4 days, 3 nights). This was not to monitor me, but to ensure my mother’s health. She was able to order any food she wanted and said it wasn’t bad. When the time came to leave the hospital, she was ready. My brother was very excited to see and hold me when I came home. We also had a Siberian Husky, Nikki, who sniffed my head, licked me, and accepted me into his pack.

I know my birth was nothing glamorous, but I like to think that May 26, 1986 was extraordinary.

Birth is not the same everywhere in the world. In the USA, only about 1% of births are performed in the home, whereas, that is the majority for the rest of the world. My brother and his wife live in the USA, but have chosen to adopt from Korea. Their Little Blessing is named Micah and he is 2 ½ years old. He is close to my heart, and this is why I chose to explore birthing experiences in Korea.



Micah Douglas Mead

 From what I read, giving birth in Korea seems similar to American birthing traditions. Less than 1% of babies there are delivered at home. Delivery rooms are less private and are usually shared. Staying at the hospital after the birth for more than 2-3 days is common. Seaweed soup is the centerpiece of every hospital meal because it is believed to renew the blood, the skin and stimulate breast milk production. Everything is low-sodium, non-spicy and low in fat. Food is delivered five times a day to get you in the habit of eating that way as a nursing mother. New Korean mothers are also encouraged to hire an ajuma (I think this is like an extended-stay mid-wife) to help care for the baby in their home in the beginning. Unfortunately, babies that are not viewed as “perfect” are usually sent to orphanages. This is where my nephew came from. He has digestive problems in his lower intestines that deemed him “undesirable” in the Korean culture. After multiple surgeries, he will only be slightly delayed with potty training, but other than that, he is a perfectly normal and super smart little boy.

My brother's babies...Sasha and Micah