Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable. They are a part of our daily life as humans
that we have to figure out how to cope with.
Some are handled well – some, not so well. As I think about disagreements that have
occurred in the past, several come to mind.
One conflict that seems to be a recurring theme in my classroom is the
problem of our flex staff leaving the room when they are scheduled to be in our
room. There are a few part-time girls I
work with who feel that if we are in ratio, that means they can leave. Neither my co-teacher nor I are very good
with conflict, but it is really becoming an issue. It is difficult to picture resolution, but I
have come up with a couple strategy that I think might help us get there. My first strategy I picked up from the
principles of nonviolent communication (NVC).
This strategy is to focus on the needs of these girls, as well as
myself, and try to make them known. If
we make our needs known, they might be more likely to stick around. If we learn their needs, we might be able to
figure out why they keep leaving our room.
My second strategy is compromise.
Once I learn the needs of these girls and make my needs known, I am sure
there will need to be some kind of compromise.
This will ensure everyone is respected and has the opportunity to have
her needs met.
We have mentioned it to our administrator on several
occasions, and there seems to be little progress. Or, when we discuss it, it is after-the-fact
and we find out that we have both been lied to.
Technically, these girls are not leaving us out of ratio, so there is no
serious infraction. However, we really
enjoy taking advantage of having a lower ratio to spend valuable time with our
children. We also generally like the
girls who are continually doing this to us and do not want to step on toes or
seem like we are tattle-tales. We want approach this delicately and come to a peaceful resolution that doesn’t make them want to avoid our
classroom. If anyone would like to offer
an outsider’s perspective – I welcome it!
Before this week I had never really considered conflict as a positive thing but now I know that conflict can make you see different points of view, can allow you to come up with better ideas. It is not the conflict that is to be avoided but the negative way we deal with it.
ReplyDeleteWhat about making a schedule set in stone for the classroom helpers so they don't have a choice of when they come to your class?
Rene,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to you on the conflict you are facing with liking the girls and not wanting to appear like a snitch. I am not confrontational either, and have found myself in this situation many times. However, I feel like your solutions of asking the girls their needs and communicating your needs will solve the problem of having to be a snitch:)
Hi Rene,
ReplyDeleteI find your situation one that is kind of typical in early child care. I think that makign your concersn known is a great first step. I understand how important it is to have extra hands to help at any time of the day, especially when the numbers low that time can be used for planning. I think that it will take a great impact from administrators to stop this problem especially if they keep telling the girls something different. I think that you and your teacher shoudl keep finding creative ways to communicate to the girls that you need them longer, and document everything. Good Luck!
Rene,
ReplyDeleteYou are put in a hard situation with the girls. I agree with Cheryl in that if you ask the girls their needs and communicate your needs this can potentially solve a problem. It is almost like the win win approach in that everyone potentially wins! I have found that being up front in any situation has given me the best results.
Rene,
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to how you are feeling. As others have said I believe you should speak with the staff about the concern. I have learned that sometimes just letting someone know how you feel about something can bring to their attention that what they are doing bothers or upsets you. I wish you the best in this situation and hope that your strategies work with this issue.
Lauren
Rene,
ReplyDeleteI completely understand your plight. I too avoid confrontation; however, in your situation I do believe that you are going to have to say something. You do not have to be cruel, just politely mention to them that you really need them to hang around because they are such a big help to you. Make them feel needed and valuable and praise their work. It works every time.